Haruhi's monthlong period!
by WingBane
Summary: Haruhi awakes on her 16th birthday feeling different than usual. This will be rated M for mentions of the word period and severe death-threats!
1. Ch 1: Birthday morning agitation

Today was February 4th! Haruhi's sweet 16th birthday! Haruhi felt very agitated this morning and couldn't understand why. "Hello Haruhi. How are you?" Ranka asked. "I don't feel like talking right now!" Haruhi shouted. "Haruhi, is something the matter? You're not usually irritable. Even in in the morning." Ranka replied. "I just told you not to talk to me you cross-dressing fag!" Haruhi said loudly. Ranka couldn't believe what had just come out of his sweet daughter's mouth. "Now I know something isn't right." You would never say something like that to me. You are usually quite calm. Even in the morning. Then the cold, hard truth struck Ranka. Haruhi, I know what's going on now. I hoped this day would never come. You see Haruhi. You have a rare case of a month-long period that only happens when it is your birthday. In other words, you are on your very first period. The sole fact that you are a late bloomer for yours means that it will be much, much worse than any other pre-menstral cycle a woman could ever possibly have. The worst part is that it lasts until exactly a month from your birthday has passed. That being said, you might be in for a bad day." Ranka told Haruhi "On the bright side though, Tamaki is in for a world of pain because of this. HAHAHAHA! Ranka thought to himself.

I know this chapter was short. But That will leave you wanting more! HAHAHA!


	2. Ch 2: Periodic rages towards friends

Haruhi was now at Ouran Academy. But her very foul mood kept it from being pleasant at all. Haruhi walked into Music Room #3 and was greeted by Tamaki. "Hello my precious Haru... AHHHHH!" Tamaki replied and shouted. Haruhi's expression looked crazed and evilly pissed offed. "WHAT... DO... YOU... WANT?" Haruhi asked in the most bitchy manner ever. "I-I was just wondering what you think of my Atlantis theme." Tamaki shuddered nervously. "I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR STUPID THEMES SEMPAIBITCH! Haruhi shouted rudely at Tamaki. Now Tamaki couldn't believe what was coming out of Haruhi's pretty mouth. (Hmmm... Sound familiar?) Just then the twins burst in. "Haruhi! We know what day it is today! And you thought we probably forgot. Didn't you?" the twins replied slyly. "Shut your devilish synchronized mouths!" Haruhi shouted. The twins also couldn't believe their ears. Then Hunni and Mori walked in. "Haruchan! Nice to see you!" Hunni replied brightly. "Why don't you go make love to that rat you call bun-bun?" Haruhi shouted rudely. And Mori, knowing him would join you in a threesome! Hunni began to start tearing up and cried like a little kid. "How could you be so mean Haruchan? AHHHHH! WAHHHHHH!" Finally Kyoya walked in. "What's all the commotion going on in here?" "Oh, its the maniacal money grubbing loner!" Haruhi shouted rudely. Now you'd think that Kyoya being Kyoya would just be cool about that right? WRONG! Kyoya started to lose his cool and collapsed into depression. (Just as Tamaki often did. Wow they really are husband and wife.) Kyoya sulked in a corner while everyone was wondering what was causing Haruhi to act so indifferently rude. Tamaki looked at his watch and noticed they only had 5 minutes to prepare. "Holy hell! We've got to get ready!" Tamaki shouted. The only problem was Haruhi refused to get into her Merman outfit. She kept shouting to the heavens; "WHY HAVEN'T I STILL NOT GOTTEN ANY FANCY TUNA YOU PRICKS?"

I hope you've enjoyed this chapter. Until next time!


	3. Ch 3: Examinations and doctor beatings!

Finally when the host club were able to get Haruhi her fancy tuna, they decided to wait before entertaining all the female students. They had to figure out what was wrong with Haruhi. "My family's doctors are analyzing Haruhi for further study of her predicament. I however already know what the problem most likely is. I just need to have the doctors confirm my suspicion about Haruhi's rude behavior and moody nature." Kyoya explained. "I just hope my sweet Haruhi is okay with those doctors." Tamaki remarked nervously. Suddenly there was the sound of massive beatings coming from the room. "Oh no! They must be trying to restrain Haruhi!" Tamaki thought. Tamaki busted down the door. (Ummm... Like it was even locked in the first place. Right...) "AHHHHHHH!" Tamaki shrieked

when entering the room to find all of the doctors passed out on the floor. "Ah, here's the diagnosis sheet." Kyoya replied. "Oh no! Its much worse than I thought! Apparently, Haruhi is on her period! Its also her very first one! Not only just that! According to this sheet, it will last until exactly a month from her birthday today!" "I knew Haruchan couldn't really be naturally mad at us." Hunni replied cheerfully. "Yeah, and to think we actually thought she was just being a commoner bitch." the twins said in perfect unison. "You guys don't get it do you? Haruhi will be exposed if everyone figures out what's wrong with her! Everyone will figure out that she's a girl!" Tamaki said to the other host club members. "N-Not only that, but she'll ruin our business by being rude to all of our clients! We'll be ruined!" Kyoya said nervously. Now the hosts were worried. Their club would be ruined long before Haruhi's periodic bitchiness ended! DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN!

I hope you loved this chapter! Stay tuned for more stuff!


	4. Ch 4: Random acts of violent beatings!

The host club thought about their current situation. They knew for sure that Haruhi would ruin their business with her month-long periodic rages going on. Haruhi finally got into her merman outfit. (With some bitching and complaining while doing so.) The door opened to show all the fine, young ladies into the room to be entertained. "Welcome ladies!" everyone said. But the silent Mori and pissed off Haruhi remained silent until Haruhi shouted, "YOU BITCHES GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"

Now the ladies were confused at Haruhi's outburst. Why would such a nice boy be so rude to them? they thought. Then it struck them like a ton of bricks! Haruhi must be morning over his mother's death. He just doesn't know how to handle it. "Poor Haruhi! You must be very upset about what happened to your mother. Aren't you?" the girls asked Haruhi with concern. "SHUT THE HELL UP YOU SLUTY RICH GIRLS!" Haruhi once yelled very rudely. "Don't worry Haruhi we'll make it all better!" the girls replied. As soon as they tried to touch Haruhi, She glared the most psychotic, devilish, bitchy, pissed off stare ever in existence! Then she grabbed every girl one by one and flipped them onto the ground with the sounds of their bones getting dislocated! "OWWWWWWW!" the girls screamed bloody murder! They all lie passed out from the severe pain Haruhi had caused them. All the hosts (Including even the silent Mori.) stared in great and utter fear at the hurt Haruhi had dealt harder than Hunni could have if he wasn't holding back one bit. Haruhi then glared evilly with a a devilish nature that seemed worse than Satan could inflict on his victims! It was official. Haruhi had ruined the host club forever! None of the girls would ever come to their club ever again!

That's all the evil I have for you today! GOODBYE! MUHAHAHAHAHA! Until next time!


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